Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
