I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you had me at cake vodka
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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