Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
