when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
