it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
