I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
