You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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