My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
