So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So vagazzling was a success
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
