I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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