Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
