Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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