Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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