omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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