Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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