I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
