Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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