Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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