I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
