Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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