do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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