It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
