think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
