pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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