You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
