If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
