I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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