dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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