hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
