Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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