No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
