bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His hands were made for my vagina.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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