Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't shave. On purpose
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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