If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
