doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
