Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
