You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
