She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
