2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
