dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
