I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
