btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
