Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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