Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
