after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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