Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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