Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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