ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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