I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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