He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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