I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
